Listen

Listen.... A six letter word we have all at some point in our lives been told is important, that we've been told is something we should do as effective communicators. But why is so much of an emphasis put on this six letter word in the grander scheme of things? Why should we listen? Recently I watched a series of videos about incidence where communication broke down between two or more people due to the omission of the action described by this six letter word. When communication breaks down in this way some ones voice is no longer heard. A voice that has the right to be heard, a voice that is just as important as the next. As medical care providers and as compassionate human beings the skill of listening is important to have. Sadly biases and other negative perspectives can taint our perception of another person causing us to mute their voice in a matter that can mean the difference between someone getting the help they need and not, someone suffering in silence because they were shamed; it can even mean the difference between life and death.

Communication is a building block that healing is built on. Communication has multiple facets including verbal, nonverbal, situational, and contextual. I would like to focus on the verbal for right now; verbal communication is one of our first ways of communicating as humans; even as children we project our voices in the form of cries to inform others of our needs. As we get older language comes into play and with the development of the skill of linguistics also comes the development of social and interpersonal communication and so on. In light of all of this development what was the one thing that helped you communicate and get what you needed to across? You more than likely had someone who taught you to communicate your needs, by encouraging you to use words to describe what you were feeling, someone who was there to listen to you.

In light of all of this; communication in a medical setting is not very much different, a patient comes in to express a feeling and a need, but often due to skepticism and jaded behavior are not heard or are made to feel "less than". This feeling is a dangerous one, it inspires shame and shame kills! Let me explain what I mean when I say "shame kills". Years ago I worked on a research project in my home state of New Mexico where the cultural diversity is extremely rich and within this beautiful conglomerate of people there are multiple forms of medicine practiced. The two forms that I focused on were Curanderismo and Western medicine; In my examination of the communication and connection between these two form of medicine I noticed a huge fault that many people have also noticed or experienced for themselves in medicine, this fault was shame. Patients that had come in to get help that had family members or that they themselves had practiced a different form of medicine but decided it may be beneficial to come into see a physician practicing western medicine or for lack of a better term modern medicine. These patients were shamed by their physicians due to a systemic problem in medicine and the skeptical, biased mindset that so many have. Sadly these patients were made to feel so ashamed of themselves and their culture that they no longer felt comfortable seeing a physician; for fear of not only not being heard once more because of who they are but also being subject to further shaming. They had come in to see a physician, to be heard, to have someone advocate for their health and they instead found someone whose skepticism and opinions over powered their ability to listen and show compassion. These physicians shamed another human being, a patient and in doing so endangered their life. I have met and spoke with families, whose loved ones have died due to circumstances like the one I just described, all because they were made to feel ashamed and felt their voice was no longer heard because of who they were.This is why "shame kills", shame hiders people from finding help, shame takes away voice and inspires fear, it also can all to often end in death. YET THIS ALL COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED! We need to end the cycle of shame and death by learning to listen and by making sure that we understand the importance of someones culture in their life even if aspects of their beliefs and culture do not completely agree with your own.

As children we were taught to listen and be aware of our surroundings, to pay attention and appreciate the diverse backgrounds of others. We played and laughed, we learned and explored through our curiosity. Listening was the skill to master along with all other aspects of communication yet somewhere along the line our egos and taught world views changed that. Our egocentric society gave us a new mold to fit into one that you could reject of chose to conform to, and sadly all to many chose the later for fear of being the one that is othered along with everyone else. Now this isn't always a decision that many are aware that they have made but it is also one that not many choose to examine in their lives. Reflexive behavior is a tool that is often left in the tool box unused but that we have always had. In a society where globalization is the beautiful reality, we must understand that with this reality our part to be played requires the use of every tool in our tool box so that we can usher this new and wonderful change into our homes and ways of thinking to protect life, justice, and the pursuit of health and happiness. When something is right there may be battle that must be fought but victory is on the horizon and will prevail the amount of time it takes for us to reach it depends on our willingness to band together as one, to fight for our fellow man and to encourage and inspire change in ever circle from our families and children to our friends and colleagues. This battle may not be easy but it necessary and I for one will not stand by as my fellow man is othered and shamed to the point of death because of who they are and the form of medicine that they practice. If someone comes to you for help who are you to shame them and other them!

I leave you with this challenge, listen; keep your mind open and your ears at attention, be reflexive and examine your behavior and be humble enough to admit when change is needed because it can mean the difference between life and death someday, if not for someone you care about then for someone that someone else does. Don't be afraid to speak up and project your voice above the echos of ignorance to bring attention to an necessary and urgent need.