Roommates: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Ah roommates what would a college experience be without them. I have had my fair share of roommates, I'v had amazing roommates, and some not so amazing roommates. Regardless of the way anyone around you acts it is important to be your best self and follow the golden rule no matter how cliche it may sound. Treating others the way you would like to be treated is a great rule of thumb when considering how to be the best roommate among other things.

Here are a few of my best tips for how to be a better roommate and also how to learn to coexist with a new person ( essentially a complete stranger unless you are lucky enough to room with a friend).

Tip #1: Set reasonable boundaries at the start

When you first meet someone tat you are living with the first couple of days can feel a bit stressful as you are trying to figure out what your roommate expects of you and visa versa but a great deal of that stress can be minimized with a simple roommate agreement. Make sure to communicate what you both expect from one another, most dorms and other university accommodations require you to do this anyway. Be honest, if you know you will be coming back late on specific days make sure that you tell them or that you both have taken measures to limit disturbing each others sleep.

Quick Story:

My current roommate is a God sent, we get along, we respect each others space and have better communication habits with one another than a great deal of people I know who have problems with their roommates. When we first met we made sure to express our own needs as we both value our studies and sleep, and we also did a little bit of compromising as well and it not only has helped us foster a better relationship as roommates but it has taken a great deal of stress off of me when I know how to coexist in a space with her without unnecessary conflict.

Tip #2: Respect the belongings of others

Okay, I used to think this one went without saying but you would be surprised. Living with a complete stranger can often be worrisome when it comes to having your important belongings and personal items openly available to anyone who has access to your living space and when you have a roommate that means the stranger you just met that has a key to access everything you own can feel a bit stressful. This is why respecting each others space and belongings by not using, touching, or going through their stuff without permission is always a great practice.

Quick Story:

In the past I have had flatmates that have gone through my things while I was sleeping because they didn't think I was home and even go as far as to throw away everyone dishes if they weren't washed within the day they were used. Don't let these things deter you from trusting your roommates, I am sharing this with you to let you know that things do happen even if you think you set appropriate boundaries. The good thing is hopefully with a little mediation on your own or with a neutral third party any issues can be resolved and allow for both personal growth as well as a newly found understanding of being part of a team of sorts.

Tip #3: If you don't know, ask

Just like most instructor say there is no such thing as a bad question, well the same thing applies to roommates. If you are not sure if your roommate would be okay with something or if you aren't sure if they were unhappy with something just ask. I personally appreciate when I am able to set someones mind at ease about something I may not have even thought about, and I also am glad when I can ask my roommate a question if I am unsure. This shows not only that you care about respecting your roommate and their wishes and is an excellent practice to keep.

Quick Story:

I am a cellist as most all of you already know even from just looking at my blogs logo, so naturally playing my instrument is extremely important to me but this could also be distracting to others; even though I normally keep my electric cello on campus so that I make as little noise as possible, this still may not be enough. When I first meet a new roommate or need to practice a piece of music I ask first to make sure it wont bother anyone's studying etc. and normally it doesn't but in the few cases that it does I know that I will need to practice outside or find a practice room on campus as simple as that

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Tip #4: Try to get to know your roommate

This tip isn't for everyone, sometimes roommates don't have an interest in even remotely knowing one another which is okay.

For the students who don't mind getting to know the person they are living with don't be afraid to ask questions and break the ice. This doesn't mean you should continuously be asking endless personal questions and bothering your roommate. Who knows you may have more in common than you originally thought. If you are on the opposite end and you are being bombarded by a curious roommate it is okay to let them know that you are working on something at the moment and would appreciate if you caught up in a little while or after an exam etc. or even just to let them know you are a private person (this is part of setting boundaries).

Tip #5: Be respectful in general

This one is a bit more personable. I personally believe that it is important to be cordial when interacting with my roommates and people in general, this includes simple acts such as a friendly gesture or a simple hello and goodbye when appropriate. Try not to be unnecessarily rude or disrutive.

Thank you for reading, I hope that you find these five tips helpful and if you have any additional questions or want to know more just let me know.

Best of luck on your journey as always!

Esprit